Breaking Even
by Kay Willow
Summary: Gareas and Rioroute have made a bet. It certainly doesn't seem even, but...


Olya-san and I were chatting, and she was trying to convince me to write another Zero/Ikhny. I was debating the concept, because I really liked her idea but was already planning on using something similar in Meridian, and asked her to suggest something else. Eventually we got to talking about a certain scene, and... well, this is the result. Except much more literary than one might expect. But this is for Olya-san~ ^^ 

WARNINGS: Well, it's about an unusual pairing, but also contains more standard ones. No real warnings except for the exact manner of weirdness you'd expect in this situation. As an added irony, while I was writing the second to last segment, "Tainted Love" came on, accompanied by a skin of Fuuma molesting Kamui's neck. (From X, dontchaknow.) Never ever listen to Tainted Love when writing a scene like that. 

* * *

BREAKING EVEN   
a fic about the evils of betting   
by Kay Willow   
  


"Why can't you just crush on one girl like a normal person?" 

"Why, Garu, I don't know how you can say that. I'm the epitome of normalness." 

"Normalcy." 

"Besides, Phil and I have an agreement." 

"You're crazy," Gareas pronounced. 

"I'm not crazy," Rio objected. "I'm misunderstood." 

Garu gave him a withering look, and then turned to the end of the room, where the topic of their discussion sat peacefully, reading. He studied her for a long moment, and then said, "I'll see your twenty credits. Twenty credits that she turns you down, and then _another_ twenty if you don't get hit." 

"So you're saying that if she turns me down, but doesn't hit me, I don't actually owe you any money?" He could hardly believe his luck. He hadn't really expected to win the bet -- he'd mostly just wanted to see the look on Garu's face when he'd introduced the topic. Garu liked going after the girls just as much as any guy, but he maintained limits, and he drew them at other people's Repairers. "You are so on. What are the terms?" 

The other Pilot cocked his head thoughtfully, and then announced, "You've got two days. Exactly forty-eight hours, discounting any time we might spend battling Victims from the total tally. So she's got forty-eight hours in which to accept. Or hit you." Gareas smirked. He clearly thought he had a winning bet. 

Well, Rio happened to think otherwise. He straightened, brushed off his cargo pants, and ran a hand through his hair in preparation. Then, without further ado, he strode right over. 

"Hey! Kazuhi-chan! How you doing?" he chirped. 

She immediately clutched her book to her chest and gave him a wild-eyed look, as if expecting him to tear it from her and stomp on it. He made a peaceable gesture, indicating his lack of hostile intention, to which she didn't react at all. 

After a very long, tense moment wherein he began to wonder if she'd maybe missed his cheerful greeting, she said faintly, "I am well. Thank you for asking." She gave her book a longing glance. 

"What are you reading?" he inquired, taking this to be a sign. Perhaps talking about something she obviously liked would be a good segue into a conversation about other things that they liked, and they'd find something in common, and she'd agree to go out on a date with him. Not that you could really date on GIS, seeing as how there was nowhere to go, but eating with him or something would be just as good. 

Kazuhi's expression remained fixed on a somewhat panicked bewilderment. "It's... poetry." 

"Poetry?" Well, not much in common there. Although he'd read some stuff. He thought, trying to remember the details of what little literature he'd come across in his more normal days as a student. "You ever read Hartfordson?" he said hopefully. 

"No." At his crestfallen expression, she added quickly, "I'm very sorry." 

"Don't be sorry! Or, rather, you should be sorry, but only because you've missed out on some pretty cool poems," he said, trying to sound knowledgeable and enthusiastic, when in fact he couldn't remember the name of a single one of the man's poems. "He was, like, one of the first men to build a mecha, and he wrote about the experience and compared it to building a child, only realizing towards the end of his series of poems that what he was building was actually -- as the pinnacle of all his hopes and dreams and stuff -- more like the perfect woman. The narrator of his poems fell in love with the machine he'd made. It was really deep stuff." 

The young girl stared at him with every evidence of blankness, but at least the alarm had faded. "...I see," she murmured, and turned her chair somewhat to face away from him. 

Across the room, he could practically feel Gareas' mocking laughter radiating at him. Rankling at the obvious enjoyment of this impasse, Rio threw himself in the seat opposite her. 

"So what kind of poetry are you reading? Who's it by?" he tried again. 

"Issa. It is _haiku_," she said shortly. She never looked up from the pages. 

Now he was left torn, wanting to ask what _haiku_ was so as to appear more sincere and let her take the leading position, and not wanting to appear totally stupid and/or uncultured. Not that it was his culture anyway. But it was hers, so it was important. Caught at this impasse, Rio had to think hard. 

For almost twelve seconds. Then, struck by what seemed like brilliance, he exclaimed, "Why don't you read me one?" 

Kazuhi once again cradled the book against her chest protectively. Rio wondered where he'd acquired the reputation of being a book-abuser, and how drunk he'd been when it happened. 

They stared at each other, the girl suspicious and the young man hopefully maintaining a face of perfect seriousness. 

"...I don't think you would be able to appreciate this form of poetry," she murmured at last, flushing and looking to one side nervously. That was how he knew it was an insult. 

"I would so enjoy it!" he maintained, all offended dignity. "What possible reason could I have for not enjoying it? Are you trying to say that I'm too stupid to understand what it's saying? You don't even know me all that well -- how can you say that I wouldn't be able to understand your poems? I'll have you know that I'm quite intelligent, graduated one of the highest in my class..." 

"I'm sorry!" she whispered, bowing her head so that her hair fell in front of her face. "I was unforgivably rude." 

She really was cute, Rio thought as he graciously forgave her. He wouldn't mind going out with her; she was sweet and modest and helpful and if only he could get her to stop treating him like a sexual predator, she'd be perfect. Except for that whole big brother thing. Big brothers weren't good. Especially not big brothers like Yu, who was, in Rio's opinion, just a little bit unstable. 

"So," he prompted when Kazuhi seemed uninclined to pick up the conversation. "Are you going to read me a poem, or can I just have the book and read it myself?" 

Her entire being cooled rapidly. He couldn't figure out what he'd said wrong. "You wouldn't be able to read it," she told him smoothly, and then flipped to another page while he was pondering her sudden mercurial shift in attitude. Then, suddenly, she said, "_Furusato ya yoru mo sawaru mo bara no hana._" 

"What?" was his eloquent reaction. 

"My native village, on approach and to the touch, a bramble rose." She closed the book and looked at him patiently. 

Suddenly, asking her to read him a poem didn't seem like such a brilliant idea. He tried to fumble for some sort of intellectual response to that, but the most intelligent observation he had was, "That's Old World Japanese, isn't it?" 

"Yes," she said simply: "As is the art of _haiku_, and my heritage." 

Right. Stupid question. Rioroute sought to fix that impression by theorizing, "It's very subtle and understated, but emotional. It's, like, a Japanese thing." 

She didn't seem convinced. "Yes," she agreed. 

Well, that had been an unconditional failure. 

"Rioroute!" came a familiar voice. "What are you _doing_?" 

Naturally Phil would choose this moment to come along. Rio shot to his feet and rocketed over to distract her before, heaven forbid, she could ask Kazuhi what he'd been doing. Kazuhi, unfazed, returned to her book. 

* * *

He meant to go talk to her and invite her formally that evening, but... Victim attacked. 

Gareas laughed the whole battle, and none of the others could understand why. Yu told him to focus on the battle. Ernest inquired with concern after his mental health. Teela took him to task afterwards for being so casual. And Phil warned Rio that if he gripped the supports any tighter, they'd break. 

* * *

It was another day before he found a clear chance to speak with her -- by which point he was very frustrated from Gareas' smug assumption that he'd won the bargain. He only had a few hours left, but it was the perfect opportunity: she was underneath the great oak tree that grew in the little park beyond the maintenance bay, tinkering with some random mechanical doodad. Rio amused himself as he approached by thinking about how, in days gone by, the women hadn't traditionally gone around carrying toolboxes, and nowadays you couldn't pry a girl away from her repair kit. 

Kazuhi pretended to ignore him when he first came up and sat down nearby her, instead gracefully curling her legs back underneath herself so that she was in a more proper position, or, he supposed, in a better position to flee if he should try and attack. He wasn't really offended by her wary attitude, which surprised him, because he'd been insulted when people refused to even let him prove himself to them before. With Kazuhi it seemed more in self-defense than out of maliciousness or superiority -- it was kind of helpless and delicate and... and feminine. She was very feminine. Rio found that attractive. 

It was ten minutes before she said precisely the one thing that could throw off his pleasant consideration of her many good features. 

"Phil-san said that she planned to go over the system stats with you this afternoon." 

Mention of Phil, Rio was beginning to realize with dismay, was an excellent way to instantly ruin any fun day of girl-hunting that he had planned. He quickly said, "I've already spoken to Phil. She didn't say anything about that. I assume it wasn't all that important." 

"I think that it was." 

"What are you working on?" 

"Will you be forever asking me to explain to you my hobbies?" she said pointedly. It was such an oddly open thing for her to say that Rio was taken aback. She blushed, and hung her head slightly, hiding behind her hair as she so often did. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled-for." 

"Actually, it really was quite called-for," he admitted with unfazable good cheer. "I've been making a pest of myself. Sorry." 

"It's no bother," she said automatically, and then looked like she regretted it. 

She was more than cute, he decided; she was adorable. "I've been watching you, you know," he said sheepishly. It sounded kind of stalker-ish, but it was true, and a good lead-in to his topic -- Kazuhi, romantically. When she didn't respond, he picked up the thread himself. "You're very hard-working. Do you ever do anything just for fun?" 

Kazuhi looked up at him, confused. "But... I do enjoy my work," she said hesitantly. 

"But what are your hobbies? Besides Repairer stuff." 

She looked down at the whatever-it-was in her hand and frowned. "I'm not all that interesting," came the murmured response. 

"Don't be silly! You are interesting. Just watching you is an education," he joked. But she didn't seem to find it funny. Awkwardly, he searched for something to say. "You didn't really answer. What sort of things do you like to do in your spare time?" 

Without much interest, she stared at the back of his hand, disturbing the grass below them. "I enjoy reading," she murmured. "And writing as well..." 

"Writing? Like, poems like in the book?" That might be a chance. Maybe she'd show him something of hers. 

"Not so much... Oniisama is the creative one." Somehow, Rio couldn't quite see that. "I merely like to write." 

"...isn't that what I said?" 

"No, the act of writing," she clarified. At Rio's obvious confusion, she made a vague scribbling motion with one hand. "Calligraphy, kind of." 

Calligraphy was Kazuhi's idea of fun? Man, the girl wasn't feminine, she was deprived. She had no idea what real life was like! Next time they were near a colony and could get temporary boarding leave, Rio was totally going to take her to a bar or something and show her what a good time really was. 

"That's great," he enthused anyway. "It's really unique -- you don't see many people around who know calligraphy, much less do it for fun." 

She looked downright _terrified_ at that. So he wasn't going to be able to segue into a perfectly normal "You're really unique, too" and then "I don't think I've ever known a girl so unique" and then "I've been thinking about you a lot, and was wondering... if you'd like to have dinner with me sometime?" It wasn't a problem, not much of a setback, he reassured himself. She was shy, but at least she was talking to him, and that was more than he'd gotten out of her before, when she'd avoided him at all costs. 

New topic, he decided. "Does Yu practice calligraphy, too?" 

"Oh, no." She retreated from the brink of fear, more amused and relaxed now. "It is a woman's art. Oniisama's crafts lean more towards martial arts." 

It figured. Even when he wasn't required to be killing things, Yu spent his time practicing to kill things. Rioroute wasn't stupid enough to say that out loud, though. "You're both very serious about everything, aren't you?" he said. "Don't you ever just let loose and do whatever? I mean, a hobby shouldn't be sorted by masculine or feminine." Not that he was about to volunteer to take up knitting or anything. 

"Not really," she said indifferently. "I have no real interest in male activities." 

"What do you mean?" Rio demanded, preparing to be offended. 

"Ogling over those of the opposite gender." 

Well, she did have a point. But Rio seized the line she'd unthinkingly handed him. "I've wondered about that. You don't seem to have any favorites here on GIS. Isn't there any guy you're interested in?" 

Kazuhi turned an extremely bright red in reaction to this direction of inquiry, and devoted all her attention to the object in her hands. She examined it closely and selected a miniature crowbar from the toolbox to apply to a covered section. 

Rioroute straightened and leaned forward earnestly. "I didn't think so. And, really... I can't say that I'm sorry. Because, you know, I was kind of wondering..." 

"Don't." 

"What?" 

"Don't say that." 

Her face was still turned away; he couldn't see her expression. She gave nothing away with her voice, either; sounding perfectly neutral. He couldn't tell if it was a good or bad sign, if she felt compelled to resist him or if she were trying to avoid refusing him. But whichever it was, he could no longer use the "You always look so lonely," then the "A girl as beautiful as you should never be lonely," followed by the good old, "So -- rather than being alone, would you like to go out with me?" 

"You're not hungry, then? Okay, I can live with that. Although I'm kind of hungry." She shook her head as that, and it didn't take a genius to know that she was thinking about how not rare that particular sentiment was. "But you're very into that thing you're playing with, huh? Is it that important?" 

Kazuhi gave him a look that was unmistakably an accusation, which made him suspect that the thing was important and he was supposed to know what it was. 

It struck Rio that he didn't really have much of anything he could say to her that would get them on a comfortable, even footing. He didn't have much to say to her at all: the only thing they had in common was hatred of Victim, and she wasn't helping him get to know her. He'd already covered hobbies, and hobbies and her brother, so maybe the next route was to talk to her about Yu. 

"What about Yu? He got any romantic interests, huh?" 

Kazuhi flushed. "My brother would not tell me of something like that. It would not be appropriate." 

"He's very protective of you," he commented. "You should totally take a stand for yourself, become independent. He can't take care of you forever, you know; someday you're going to grow up." 

"I know," she murmured softly, and said nothing else. 

Well, so much for that theoretically promising topic. I mean, geez, she could've at least argued.> Rio sighed and tried again. He was starting to be impressed by his own patience. Of course, there _was_ money on the line... "It's good that you get along so well, though. I mean, I'm barely on speaking terms with one of my sisters, and the other only tolerates me." He waited for a moment, in case she wanted to ask about his family, but she didn't. Wonderful. "You and your brother never seem to argue or anything." Again, he paused for a suitable response, which she didn't make. Did she only speak when directly proposed a question? "Is that true?" 

Her head lowered minutely. She murmured, "We have many similar opinions. We do not disagree often." 

"The perfect pair of siblings," he said laughingly. "No wonder you're so devoted to each other." 

"Perhaps." 

"You're the only children in your family, right? 

"Our family is dead. Victim killed them." 

Rio didn't feel like this topic was going to be getting him in any kind of favor with the girl, but the only other topic he could really talk of, short of Victim (and somehow he doubted that she really wanted to talk about them), was Yu. He doubted that asking after her hobbies, again, would get him anywhere. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "But it certainly helps explain how the two of you got this close. You're... all you've got." 

Kazuhi was silent again. But when Rioroute looked up, though her face was down again and her hair covered much of it, he could see tears tracking down her cheeks. 

Alarmed, Rioroute propped himself upright and leaned in closer. "Kazuhi? Kazuhi, are you okay? Kaz--" 

She shook her head mutely. 

Okay. Okay. She's crying. Obviously, somewhere, I did something wrong.> He _hated_ it when a pretty girl cried. Rio tried to reach out and touch her, but she jerked away and hid her face. "Kazuhi... I'm sorry. Please, tell me what I said..." 

She stilled, and then whispered brokenly, "_Tsuyu no yo wa tsuyu no yo nagara, sari nagara._" 

"Kazuhi... Look, Kazuhi-chan, I'm sorry, I don't speak Japanese, you'll have to tell me what that means..." 

Suddenly, she reached out and grabbed his hand. He was startled enough to try and snatch it back, but she actually managed to hold on tightly, unwilling to let go. Tears still glistening on her skin, she looked up at him -- beyond him? -- and repeated, "World like a dewdrop, though it's only a dewdrop; even so, even so." 

Rio blinked. "...another _haiku_?" he said, dumbly. 

Then there was a hand on his shoulder. Since he was still staring at all four of theirs, it had to be someone else's. When he turned around, he had about half a second to take in Yu's furious expression before something painful crashed into his jaw and everything went black. 

* * *

"So you owe me forty creds." 

"Shut _up_, Garu." 

Rio nursed his split lip, sulkily. Dinner was usually his favorite meal of the day (although occasionally he preferred breakfast, or lunch, or the in-between-meal snacks) but he just couldn't enjoy it today. He was downright depressed, and Rio rarely got depressed 

But why shouldn't he be depressed? He'd been turned down by a really cute girl more than once and gotten socked by her psycho brother. He still didn't understand any of it -- didn't know why she had refused him so vehemently, why she'd reacted the way she had to innocent questions, or even why Yu had been so violent towards someone who was _allegedly_ a friend. 

Well, maybe he really did understand that last. If Rio had been the one seeing some guy making his sister cry, he wouldn't have stopped with a split lip. 

Although a split lip was actually pretty bad. He couldn't talk or eat or anything without making it hurt and threatening to tear it open again. 

From now on, swear to God, I'm sticking with Phil,> Rio vowed. I care about her and I know she cares about me, and there's much less chance of personal injury.> 

"...Forty credits. Pay up." 

"I thought I already told you to shut up?" 

But he could tell that Gareas would never, ever shut up again. That shit-eating smile wouldn't come off. "I just want to make sure you hand over your money. She dissed you, and you got hit." 

"She didn't hit me--" 

"And I already reminded you. _You_ assumed I meant _she_ had to hit you. But _I_ only said that you had to get hit. And Yu hit you so hard you're lucky you've still got all your teeth." 

Fuck, I hadn't thought about that before!> Suddenly the entire last twenty-four hours seemed utterly insane. To be fair, they probably had been all along. But it only now dawned on him that he'd bet on _Yu's sister_, and that their quietest counterpart would've been well within his rights to make sure that he had no further reason to bet on women ever again. 

Sourly, he snapped, "Look, I'll give you your forty damn credits, alright? Just back off." 

"Aww, poor Rio. Is defeat _bitter_?" Garu drawled, clearly not understanding the concept of enough being enough. Giving him a black eye in return was suddenly very high on Rioroute's list of priorities. 

Leena, who was totally psychic and wonderful to boot, headed over at precisely that minute to tap Gareas on the shoulder. "Garu, don't you think you've been sitting here making fun of poor Rio for long enough? Don't forget how little work you've done today." 

"But Leena!" Garu protested innocently. "Don't _you_ want to know why Rio's sporting that lovely dent in his mouth?" 

"No. Whatever it was that got Yu so riled up, I _don't_ really want to know about it." She gave Rio a pointed look, and he could only thank the heavens above that no one knew about the dumb bet aside from Gareas. The whole thing looked _really_ stupid now. The girls would have his... head on a plate if they ever found out. 

To say nothing of Phil. 

"Rioroute," began a familiar voice. The very girl stood at the far end of the table, holding her meal and looking puzzled. "You haven't eaten anything." 

"Naw," he dismissed, trying to grin reassuringly and stopping halfway through when he felt newly-mended skin tear and nearly cringed in pain. "I can't really eat with this." 

Awkwardly, she shuffled over and sat down next to him. "That's because you tried to get food that'll be too hard for you right now," she scolded, and seized his plate. Phil began cutting his meat up, grumbling to herself, "That Yu is totally out of control. What could you possibly have done to merit this? I mean, I know you boys play around a lot, but when somebody actually gets hurt you have to draw the line. And then he didn't even come to dinner so I could take him down a peg or two. Kazuhi-chan isn't even here!" 

And Rio profoundly hoped that neither of them reappeared for so long as Phil was in this mood. She was angry but _at somebody else_, and positive _towards him_. That almost _never_ happened. 

She held the fork out to his mouth, clearly meaning to feed him like a little child. And Rio fought the urge to laugh, instead obediently opening his mouth, trying not to strain the injury, and letting her do it. After he'd chewed, he volunteered cheerfully, "Who knows what they're thinking? Why, I wager twenty credits that nobody ever figures out how their minds work." 

~owari~ 

* * *

The haiku that Kazuhi quote in here are real: by Issa, who lived from 1763-1827. The first haiku was written when he returned to the village he'd been born in, after choosing to leave, and found that he was no longer welcome there -- they treated him as a foreigner and he was branded as different, and he was never accepted there until the day he died. The second was written when the last of his five children died at a very young age, and he was left alone, as he remained for the rest of his life. 

--Kay, whose Muse has taken a turn for the odd lately 


End file.
